


Space Dementia

by Skywalcer



Series: song-inspired EXO fics [1]
Category: EXO (Band), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Song Inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 12:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17867162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skywalcer/pseuds/Skywalcer
Summary: Padawan Kyungsoo meets the fallen student Chanyeol after so many days passed by, and tries to bring him to the light once again.





	Space Dementia

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song with the same name by "Muse".

I knew that to be here was the first wrong choice I've made this week, however, I was not going back. Not before I've dealt with the matter in hand.

 _Park Chanyeol_. He was the reason I was here, the person who had occupied my mind for many days that I couldn't even count.

As the cold air blew through the thin matter his ship was made of, I tugged on the warm blanket around my chest. My head hurt, and my throat was dry. I turned over as I saw a shadow hanging over me, and my eyes met with his instantly. The eyes that once shone brightly at me, now gave me a disheartening stare only.

"You must be thirsty," he said, was he... _caring for my health?_  I wasn't sure, but I chose to believe it while I grabbed the glass he passed to me. "This ale was brought right from Corellia. You'd enjoy it."

I felt the warmth pass through my mouth, to my stomach slowly. It sure tasted nice, just the type I liked actually, making me think that he was up to something again. I looked up to him one more time, trying to understand his motives. He seemed relaxed instead as he sat next to me, putting his arm behind my seat. I closed my eyes, and let his fingers brush through my hair.

The fact that I still leaned on his touch was what was making me mad inside. The way he bent down his face to see my face better, and the tender look he still had on... It reminded me of the old days, where everything was so,  _so_  much better. The days would pass by naturally with the two of us training together, playing together, all along with Master Kim who would look over us all the time. The most he would be worried was a cut that Chanyeol would frequently get over his knees, arms and so. But now, it seemed like such a small thing to worry about... when everything already fell apart, and Master Kim was no longer with us.

The last thing he told me to do was to  _"bring him back"_. And that's exactly what I was going to do. Even though it meant my death.

"I'm glad you're here with me today." I heard him say, without looking at him, I just kept on drinking from the glass.

"You know I can't keep on staying here, Chanyeol." I could feel his stance change with my stoic words, and the way I called his name. "You ever think about what Master Wu would think if he ever found out about me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Master Wu could  _never even_ imagine that I, his best disciple, would have a weakness like this..." His finger brushed past my cheek slowly, feeling the smooth surface of my skin, making me shiver with his coldness. I tried to put my blanket over his shoulder, and he actually pushed his body next to me to get under the warmth. "And such a good-hearted boy at that."

I tried to keep on my blank face, but it was so hard to do when Chanyeol showed his smile to me. I quickly turned my eyes over the table where my fingers were to not meet his eyes, glowing in the dim lightning his ship was providing over us. The smile itself was pretty similar to what it was before, yet unlike the old days, the smile held lust rather than love... and I didn't think I could resist to it.

His thumb played with mine over the table. "Don't you think that how amazing it would be if we could spend every day like this? You, next to me and nothing else."

I could almost spit out his next words, so it seemed he still was stubborn on trying to pull me to his side. I would have laughed if I could, but my master's last image was still clear on my mind.

I saw Chanyeol slaughter many innocent bystanders that cursed day, like their lives were nothing at all. I heard Master Kim shout out to him, trying to get some sense to him. Somewhere in my heart knew that moment would be the last time I would ever see him, yet I couldn't even move an inch, my stupid feet wouldn't respond to my brain. But he knew, he was aware of my thoughts like always.

It was already too late when my lightsaber crossed against Chanyeol's, Master Kim was laying on the ground. The green light was reflected all over Chanyeol's face, yet I couldn't feel the same safeness I did when I looked at it before. His eyebrows were crossed, his eyes returned my concern for my master with hate, pure disgust even. His words were harsh, he told me that I would be nothing if I stayed with  _"Jun-Myeon"_  here.

Had it not been for Sehun who struck from Chanyeol's behind, my skin would have been the next surface Chanyeol's lightsaber would met after he skillfully cut through my robe. I saw Sehun nod to me, as in an agreement done without words, I took Master Kim to his private starfighter quickly while he dealt with our fallen friend.

As the door closed, I realized Jongin was on board, and Baekhyun was flying the ship. He helped me with carrying Master to a more comfortable surface, and I decided to let him rest until we reach somewhere safer - until he grabbed my wrist. That was when he told me to get some sense to his  _"thick brain"_  as our Master playfully - even under such circumstances - told me. I smiled bitterly, because I knew my Master was at peace, and was soon to be one with the Force.

Weeks passed as we trained under Master Kim Min-Seok, who took us with him after he learned what happened to his brother Jun-Myeon. When I decided that I improved my skills enough to meet  _him_ again, I tried contacting Chanyeol once again: Comlink wasn't my choice at all - since it could reveal my whereabouts, I would be basically risking everyone else around me. So I ran, even though Jongin told me not to so many times.

And here I was, after we successfully found each other through our Force link.

Yet I completely abandoned my mission on my mind.

I was getting under his spell, and even though I knew all about it, I still yearned for him. Much more every minute.

Was being next to him playing with my mind? Has it been effecting me in the worst possible way? Was what Jongin told me finally happening?

His hand found its way through my neck, all the way from my hands. He pulled me near his face, his lips locked over mine in a flash. I savored on the taste I've been searching for for so many days until Chanyeol pulled away slowly, and approached my ear as he whispered to me: "I could kill Wu for you if that's what you want." He nibbled on my earlobe carefully, and gave me a smile as he looked into my eyes. "If that's how you'll stay here with me."

_Killing._

Chanyeol was already so comfortable with using that word, as if it meant nothing deep to him, just another mundane act in a daily life.

He made me sick.

"Do you not realize that we matter so little to this whole... universe? It is beyond what we call  _'the Republic'_ , or the  _'Sith Empire'_. The continuous fighting between those two - the ' _good_ ' and the ' _evil_ ' will never end. What actually matters, is the point in between those two sides." He took my hand, then continued. "Kyungsoo, stay with me."

Maybe Baekhyun was right after all. Maybe it was already too late.

But maybe it was too late for us  _all_.

Master Kim, my biggest wall to lean on was already gone. And much to my dismay, my lover, Chanyeol here told me he would do anything for me if I only told him " _yes_ ". He adored me, he showed his affection through every action of his.

I didn't know what his aspirations were. I wouldn't be lying if I said that he actually scared me with his words, the way he said them softly to me only made it even more alarming of an experience for me. "Kyungsoo," he said gently. I turned my eyes to him carefully. "Be with me."

At that point, I knew that he was ready to turn everything upside down, completely, without any care and empathy, except  _me_.

And I found out that I liked that.

I liked the way he was willing to exploit that raw power over anyone with simply a word that would slip through my lips.

I realized then as I kissed him back, I didn't care about the Republic, the Jedi Order or the Sith Order at all. Nothing mattered to me at that point, except for the passion we both shared between ourselves, and our love.

And I let him slowly shatter my soul.

*******

_You make me sick_

_Because I adore you so_

_I love all the dirty tricks_

_And twisted games you play on me_

_Space dementia in your eyes_

_And peace will arise and tear us apart_

_And make us meaningless again_

**Author's Note:**

> i decided i would use (-) between the kim brothers' names to make it look more star wars-y hehe! i love star wars so much and it actually had been some time since i wrote sw stories, so it was really nice to write some sw-related stuff again!!
> 
> also, muse is one of my fav bands, so it was really great to use their lyrics. i really love matt's lyrics.
> 
> hope you liked it!


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